Day 21 of 28
Forgiveness
The Hardest Virtue
Scripture Readings
Today's Reading
Read Matthew 18:21-22: "Then Peter came up and said to him, 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.'"
Then read Colossians 3:13: "Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."
Reflection
Lewis takes on what he calls the most unpopular part of Christian morality — more unpopular even than chastity. It is the command to forgive your enemies and to love those who hate you.
"Every one says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive."
This is devastating in its simplicity. Forgiveness as an abstract principle is universally admired. Forgiveness as a concrete practice — forgiving that person for that thing — is agonizing. Lewis knows this. He does not pretend otherwise.
But he offers several clarifications that make the command, if not easier, at least clearer. First, forgiving does not mean pretending that what was done was acceptable. You can forgive a person while still recognizing that their action was wrong. Second, forgiving does not mean trusting them immediately or putting yourself back in harm's way. Third, forgiving does not mean feeling warm toward them. It means willing their good — choosing, as an act of the will, not to hold the debt against them.
Lewis also makes the logic of forgiveness inescapable by connecting it to the Lord's Prayer: "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." Every time we pray those words, we are asking God to forgive us in the same way that we forgive others. If we refuse to forgive, we are, in effect, asking God not to forgive us.
Jesus's answer to Peter in Matthew 18 is not really a math problem. "Seventy-seven times" (or "seventy times seven" in some translations) is not a number — it is a way of saying "without limit." Forgiveness is not a quota to be exhausted but a way of life to be practiced.
Colossians 3:13 provides the ultimate motivation: "as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." The standard is not fairness (the offender does not deserve forgiveness) but grace (neither did you).
Going Deeper
Lewis struggled with forgiveness himself — particularly regarding those who had harmed him in his harsh boarding school years. He knew that the command to forgive was not a sentimental platitude but a daily battle.
The practice of forgiveness begins not with a feeling but with a prayer: "God, I choose to release this person from the debt they owe me — not because they deserve it, but because You have released me from mine."
Key Quotes
“Every one says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.”
“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”
Prayer Focus
Asking God for the grace to forgive someone specific — not to feel good about them, but to release them from the debt they owe you
Meditation
Is there someone you have been refusing to forgive? What would it look like to begin — not to feel forgiveness, but to will it?
Question for Discussion
Lewis says forgiving does not mean pretending the wrong was acceptable or trusting the person immediately. Given that clarification, what do you think prevents people from forgiving — is it a misunderstanding of what forgiveness requires, or something deeper? How can a community help its members practice forgiveness without minimizing the harm done?